* The Fairytale of Pandagirl *

Monday, September 06, 2004

.:: D.e.s.t.i.n.y ::.

爱可以让人快乐让人幸福，为平平无奇的生活增添了不少乐趣；

Two and a half years ago, i thought that ''LOVE'' is a very beautiful, pure and sacred thing... i thought that every love story will have a 'happily ever after' ending... Two and a half years ago, i was just an innocent little girl who loves reading fairy tales.. my favorite fairy tale would be 'beauty and the beast'.. i used to think that love is such a wonderful thing.. i'm constantly dreaming, fantasizing about when and how i would meet my dear prince charming.. i was so curious about how "lOvE" will feel like.. i kept searching for love.. but couldn't find the right one.. until.... "love" found me...

I believed in 'love at first sight', but i never thought it would happen on me... he and i was in the same school for 4 years.. but i only came to know about his existance during the last half year in our school.. after knowing him.. i always wondered:"why didnt our path crossed during the first 3 and half years..?" maybe all things are predestined.. fate had planned our beginning.. the thing about him that caused me to fall in love at first sight would be his eyes ba.. when i first saw him, his bright, beautiful eyes caught my attention.. that was the "beginning" that fate had planned for me and him.. This was my first "lOvE" lesson.. i finally learnt how does loving someone feel like.. :

i cant stop thinking about him
i love to gaze into his eyes
no many how many people are around me, my attention is only on him
i wanna be with him 24/7
when he's sad or hurt, my heart will hurt too
my heart is shattered when he dont love me
i feel happy when i see him smile
i want him to be in my life forever

it's like his every movements and actions and words will affect me... throughtout my whole life, the happiest time i had was when i'm with him.. i love to be in him embrace and hold on to him forever and forever.. i thought we could have a 'happily ever after' ending.. however, unfortunately, the ending that i want wasnt the ending the fate had planned for me...

爱还可以让人疯狂让人伤痛，一颗脆弱的心能够承受得了多少哀伤？

I thought fate had found the one for me.. is fate playing a cruel joke on me..? for the past 2 years, i had the most wonderful and happiest time in my life.. BUT, why must my happiness come to an end??? WHY? this was also when i had my first lesson about "HURT".. :

when i think of our past, i cant stop crying
i keep wanting to go back to the past
my heart cant stop hurting when i think of him with other gals
my heart cant stop hurting when i think of the fact that he is no longer mine
i keep crying and crying
when i checked my hp and see no msg-es from him, my heart hurts
it hurts when i know he'll never say "i love you" to me
it hurts when he no longer hold my hands, kiss me and hold me in his embrace

I dunno whether fate is good or cruel to me for letting know you..???

Right now, i know i'm just your past.. i'm just a passer-by in your life only... maybe you did love me before.. but sadly, the love that you had for me is already gone le... sad to say.. you will never love me, teng me, care for me as much as before le.. even if you still care for me, i think i'm just a burden to you.. i'm just a responsibility that you have to carry... you will nv be as passionate about me as before le... you will never say 'i love you' to me anymore.. cuz i'm just your past...

whenever i think of you all doing the things we used to do, my heart really hurts... maybe you will hold her hands like you held mine, maybe you will hug her like you used to hug me, maybe you will watch stars under the sky with her, maybe you will play bball and do the things we used to do with her.. 哭了很久很久，哭的很痛很痛..

Why must fate play such a cruel joke on me...??? 可能这就是命运，注定的，怎么躲，都躲不掉。

*This fairy tale ended at 1:30 AM*