* The Fairytale of Pandagirl *

Thursday, May 31, 2007

27th was a big turning point in my life.. It's my 2nd turning point.. The 1st one was 5 years ago when i met him.. And this time it's........ *secret*

Was really emotional and moody.. And as a typical piscean, my mood and emotions directly affects my life.. Was too down to go school or do anything at all.. As a result, skipped 3 consecutive days of school..

Things are better now.. In fact yesterday and today was so like a dream.. too beautiful to be real.. But, i dont dare to raise any hopes at all..
Cause i know that things will never be the same again..

Shall just treasure the present,
before it's all too late...
before it's time to say goodbye......

*This fairy tale ended at 5:26 PM*

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Shattered dreams; lost hopes; hurting wounds; aching heart.

Where do i go from here?

My only wish right now:
To leave this world, only then, i can be freed from all these pains.
Only then, i can find peace within myself.

*This fairy tale ended at 5:04 AM*

Monday, May 28, 2007

Would You Be There

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care,
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there..

*This fairy tale ended at 5:16 PM*

Monday, May 21, 2007

BEACH DAY~
I finally went sentosa after so many attempts..

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Finally no more rain, no more cloudy skies, no more dark clouds..
It was a sunny sunny day.
Wee~

Tanning, vballing, slacking...

*sweats*

On my way home..

Waiting for train..

I'm a Little Miss SUNSHINE~

Keke..
Sun, Sea, Sands, Sports, Sweats..
That's my definition for LIFE..

*This fairy tale ended at 2:19 PM*

Monday, May 14, 2007

Currently listening to:
*My Love Will Get You Home*

if you wander off too far, my love will get you home
if you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home
if you ever find yourself lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home,
boy, my love will get you home

if the bright lights blind your eyes, my love will get you home
if your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home
if you ever find yourself lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home,
boy, my love will get you home

if you ever feel ashame, my love will get you home
whenever its only you to blame, my love will get you home
if you ever find yourself lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home,
boy, my love will get you home

if you ever find yourself losing long alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home, boy, my love will get you home,
boy, my love will get you home

Sighs..
Lost my favourite adidas jacket.. The black with baby-blue stripes one..
Sighs..
Seem to be losing lotsa things lately..
Sighs..
Perhaps the next thing i'd lose is myself..

When i looked at the person staring back at me in the mirror, i couldn't recognise who she is..
Eyes filled with sorrow and grief, lips that've forgotten how to smile, why is my reflection someone i don't know?
I'm tired...

If only i could fall really sick and lose all my memories..
If only i could sleep forever and never wake up..
If only i could morph myself into a bird and fly away..
If only i could find myself back..

If only i could just jumped down and end everything.....

*This fairy tale ended at 8:09 AM*

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Everything in my life is so wrong right now..
Feeling really down and lonely..

I'm feeling so lost..

My dad's company had closed down.. Guess competition is really tough in the interior design industrial.. Since a few months back, i knew the company was having difficulties.. But i thought everything will be fine soon.. Never thought that it would really close down...
Though i'm not really close to him, my heart aches.. It must have been difficult seeing his efforts gone down the drain.. Think this will have a major impact on my family's financial.. Sighs..

Recently in school, i felt so lost.. I had no mood for everything.. I dread going school.. Even for my favourite modules, i had no mood for it.. My mind is constantly in a daze.. I really don't know what's wrong with me..

I cant seem to trust anyone.. And i'm afraid to trust, afraid of getting hurt.. I seemed to have retreated into my own little world, shutting out everyone.. I'm tired..

Tired of acting as if everything is alright..
Tired of acting tough when i know i'm not..
Tired of forcing a smile even when my heart is bleeding..

If only i could just pack up and walk out of this world.

fangfang is tired......

*This fairy tale ended at 11:25 AM*

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Sighs Sighs Sighs..
I'm tired..
My mind is in a mess...

I used to see how beautiful this world is, but now, everywhere i look, i only see the ugliness of this world.. And i've learnt it thru the hard way.. It hurts..

Feeling very emotional these few days.. There're so many times that i felt like crying out loud.. But i held back.. I keep telling myself to be strong, to look on the brighter side of life.. But, is there really a brighter side? I cant see it..
Sighs..

I'm really tired.. Really really tired..
Broken promises, betrayal, back-stabbing, lies, selfishness, coldness..
These are what i see everywhere.. And everytime when i thought this are getting better, it's just false hopes.. And each stab of false hopes just kept going deeper and deeper, harder and harder..

I really want to learn to trust someone.. But, i'm afraid of getting hurt again..

So tired..
It's so hard forcing a smile when it's bleeding deep inside..
How long can i continue acting before i really breakdown..?

I dunno......

*This fairy tale ended at 3:33 PM*

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Sighs..
Can feel that my health's getting weaker and weaker already.. ZzZzzZ.. Seems to be falling siack alot lately.. Fever, cough, migraine, flu.. Sighs.. Hate being sick.. Feels so terrible..

Sighs Sighs Sighs..

Today was a bad day for me.. Things seems to be going wrong.. Woke up @ 7.30.. First bad sign was the rain.. Sighs.. I'm supposed to go sentosa for a tanning session today after my art & design history lecture at 10am.. Sighs.. Reached school at 8.15am, 15 mins late.. And @ 8.30am, the lecture ended.. What a waste of time~ Shouldn't have went for the lect in the first place.. Waste transport fees only.. ZzZzzZz.. Sighs..

Went back home as it was still super early.. Den left home @ 10.30am with him to go sentosa.. The rain have already stopped in semb, but when we reached harbourfront, it was still raining.. So disappointed.. Sighs.. Went shopped around vivo abit, ate long john, den we decided to go sentosa anyway, as the rain have stopped by the tat time but it was still cloudy..

Reached the beach, 15mins after we settled down, it started raining again.. Damn~
So we packed up and went home.. Sighs..

Was running a slight fever already when i reached home.. Must be because of all the walking in the rain.. Cause i hate bring umbrella.. Went to school in the rain, came back home in the rain, den "rain"-tanning in the rain..ZzZzz..

Back home, watched Harry Potter movie (Goblet of Fire) on PC while snacking on junk food..

Den went play bball at 7.30pm even though my temperature was a little high.. ZzZzZz.. Shooting and lay-ups today really super sucks.. Sighs.. Perhaps too long never play at 322 already.. Not used to the ring as it's higher den 359's.. Sighs.. At the end of the bballing, one blister each on my left and right sole.. ZzZzzzz.. Damn painful.. It's been a really long time since i'd blisters already..

ZzZzZzz.. Feeling super sick now.. My head feels so heavy.. My feet hurts.. And i'm having difficulties breathing with a blocked nose.. ZzZzzzzz *sniff sniff*

I HATE BEING SICK~
sighs~

*This fairy tale ended at 2:48 PM*

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Went amk hub in the evening to do some shopping..

Ate 'hot stone mixed rice' at the foodcourt.. It's a korean dish.. Super yummy.. Very nuitritious too, cause there's lotsa veggies (bean sprout, cucumber, carrot and seaweed), there's meat, there's rice, there's seaweed soup and there's egg.. Very balanced.. All the ingredients were put together inside this stone bowl.. And we're supposed to mixed it all up with the gravy when we eat.. The gravy was really delicious, sweet and spicy.. And stone bowl retains heat really well.. The dish was hot and steamy all the while when i'm eating it..

*yummy*
It's really nice.. And it costs 6 bucks only..
If you all happen to drop by amk hub, do give it a try.. =)

After dinner, it's SHOPPING TIME~
Planning to get a new shoebag cause my favourite favourite favourite adidas shoebag was spoilt by 'someone'.. *heartaches*

Ended up buying alot more den i'm supposed to.. ZzZzz..

- Adidas Shoebag: $22
- Havaianas Slippers: $22
- Cropped Vest: $24
- 2 Halter Tops: $16
- Adidas Deodorant: $6

zZzz.. Spent way too much over my budget.. Plus, Order these thru sprees:

Junk Food Little Miss Sunshine Tee: $40

Long Jackets: $33 & $32

Gosh~!
I gotta start managing my finance better.. ZzZzZz

Top Priority (now):
LOSE WEIGHT!
Gotta start eating less carbs, and reduce my sugar intake.
heeellpppp~~~~

*This fairy tale ended at 2:52 PM*