Everything was so perfect.. So sweet, so happy when he came back.. we when to Sun Plaza for dinner.. He's always holding on to my hands and hugging me.. Everything is so perfect.. Until, i ruined everything... *sighs*
At very late that night, i went to check my NYP email.. Found out i had to retake one of my module.. Just because of one stupid module.. I cant specialise next semester.. Just because of one stupid module.. i gotta repeat that semester.. I admit i really sucks in Digi.. I think i dun have the talent for Digi.. *sighs* I've tried my best.. But i think my best wasn't enough.. It's a fact that i gotta repeat this module... At first, i dunno whether i should tell him now or not, or to keep this from him.. In the end, i deicided to tell him the truth, cause i dun wanna lie to him.. I guess maybe it's a wrong decision.. i think i've ruin his weekend le.. He was so happy when he came back.. but now.. He's so angry with me.. i think he's utterly disappointed in me..
I'm also very disappointed in myself.. i feel like a loser.. I think i'll never forgive myself... *sighs*
Sorry... Really so sorry... Is this the end?
So tired.. Finally can have a good rest after Camp Eagle.. The 3 days 2 nights camp was quite fun.. With lots of physical and mental challenges.. I'm glad i turned up for the camp even though i'm sick.. Cause, i'm able to challenge myself physically and stretch my limits.. The most tough part of the challenges would be the one when i gotta run for so long in the rain.. (in the end my cough became worse) haha.. Nevertheless, the camp was fun.. Luckily, my group didnt lose.. keke.. (a narrow escape from eating wasabi)
The second night would be the most memorable and fun night.. It was the night when we decided to stayed up overnight.. We end up watching 'shutter' with the guys in our room.. The show was damn scary.. I was holding on to my friend's hand so tightly throughout the whole movie.. The whole room were filled with screams every now and then.. haha.. After the show ended, we were so scared to go into the toilet on our own.. Then, we lied on the rooftop under the sky and look at the stars.. keke.. I guess i fell asleep halfway.. keke..
This is really a very enjoyable camp.. And i was more bonded to our class and the other people in our course and our seniors.. =)
Went to Yishun to watch Coach Carter with Wenzhong in the afternoon.. These 2 days are like a dream.. everything is so sweet and wonderful.. If this is a dream, i would want to sleep forever..
I've just reach home.. Just now went to send Wenzhong off to Police Academy.. sighs.. That means i can only see him 5 days later.. *sad* Starting to miss him le.. Hope he'll be back soon.. Life seems so empty without him~!
Love You, Dear~!
He's finally back le.. *smiles* His hair now super short.. So cute... keke...
Glad to see him again.. It feels so good to be in his embrace again.. =)
Haven got enough sleep for alot of days le.. tired.. Thinking of sleeping all i want today de.. But tmr still got OGL meeting at 11am.. T.T
My studio project is finally over le~! Had my presentation today.. hmm.. no.. should be had my presentation yesterday.. keke.. Yesterday is such a tiring day.. Went to school at 8am.. Cause didn't managed to finish capturing the animation the day before due to some delays by group 11.. I cried at the thoughts of not being able to finish my work on time.. Hai~! *sad* Fortunately, i manage to finish shooting and constructing my animation in time for the presentation..
The presentation was a disaster.. I felt so unjustified lor.. Instead of assessing the animation itself, they seems to be focusing most of their attention on the portfolio.. What's worse is that they seems to be looking at the layout of the whole portfolio more then the actual works inside.. *fustrated* Criticising this and that.. And i felt the teacher was picking on me lor.. I went through the trouble to mount the storyboard one by one and the text so neatly(somemore with grey paper and tracing paper) just wanting the whole storyboard to look neater and more presentable.. But she asked:"why did you go and mount your storyboard?" I answer:"so that the whole storyboard will be neater and more presentable." But she replied so sarcastically:"do you know you are not suppose to mount it when we didnt ask you to?" I kept quiet cause i dun wanna end up quarreling with her.. Last time when i asked whether we need to mount the work the teacher told us it was up to us lor.. and said if you want to be neater then go ahead lor.. But yet she told me that.. *ArgHh* My frens who also mounted their storyboard receive good feedbacks from the teachers for the extra work they out in.. Then one of my classmate who also had the same teacher as me also mounted her storyboard lor.. But she never say anything.. Doesn't this show that she's obviously picking on me.. *ANGRY*
Hai~! Anyway, what's over is over le.. Though i dun think i'll get good grade but i'm relieved it's over.. After the presentation, me, jiawan, lynette, yanling, gabriel, weikit, yingzhong, weekiat and fadz went esplanade to slack and relax.. Ended up playing Muderer and HeartAttack there.. keke.. We went back at about 11pm.. Tired..
~~Wenzhong will be out today evening.. So looking forward to seeing him again.. Miss him..~~
So tired~! Facing the computer almost 12 hours a day.. Going to go blind soon le..
Finally completed most of my work for Studio Project 2::
-Jumping rice sack animation (200++ drawings)
-Animated title page
-Poster
-CD cover
-Art works that need to be put into the portfolio
Now, only left with::
-Capturing of the animation and burning it into a CD (tmr)
-Printing of the art works for portfolio (tmr morning)
-Mounting of the storyboard
My studio project 2's presentation's on Thursday.. I hate prsentations cause i cant speak well when under pressure and unfamiliar faces.. *worried* Hope everything will be fine..
*Hmm.. Just had a chat with wenzhong just now.. He seems tired.. *saryang* Then he still having cough wor.. So poor thing.. Dun worry, dear..~! 3 more days and you'll be back.. Will give you a good massage when you're back de.. =) Miss you, dear~! Love you~~!*
Today is a terrible day.. *sighs*
Facing the computer monitor whole day, trying to come up with my poster for Studio Project.. Felt really fustrated using photoshop and illustrator.. Almost feel like giving up.. =( Everything seems to be going against me today.. Cant seems to do anything right.. And the stupid files containing the picture i've scanned to use for my designs were corrupted.. Feel like breaking down already... T.T
Was looking forward to his sms today de.. Wanted to hear his voice so much.. At last, he msged at around 8pm to say that he was watching a basketball match.. The PA trainees were there as supporters as the PA people are competing in the match.. I asked whether i could call him, but he didn't reply.. So, i called him.. My phone says network busy.. *sighs* then i tried again a while later.. and he answered.. but after talking for a while he says he gotta hang up le.. Cause gotta save his batt for the next 5 days.. He said will sms me later... *sighs*
Wanna to complain to him about today de.. Feels so miserable today.. Wanted to tell him how sad i'm now.. Cause everything went so wrong today.. Somemore, his network busy, i wonder what happened.. Why his line will engaged de... I miss him so much~! How i wished you're by my side now.. Missing you badly..!
Then i went for a jog.. Tripped on a stupid rock and fell down.. My kneecaps were bleeding badly.. So painful~! *sobs* I limped home slowly to clean up my wounds.. Then i lied on the bed to rest.. When i started to think about all the things that happened today.. I started crying really badly.. Feel so exhausted.. Kneecaps hurting like hell.. sobs... Everything is so wrong today~! Zhong, i'm missing you~!
***Wenzhong called me at 11 plus~!!! keke.. we chatted for about 15 mins.. He seems to be getting along very well with his bunkmates.. Glad for him.. =) But he was coughing alot thru out the whole conversation.. and he said his muscles aching wor.. *xin tong* so worried about his health.. Hope he's coping well with the life in NS.. Looking forward to seeing him this weekend.. But he said he mayb going to eat out with his friends.. then wanna go bball court see see... *sighs* Then he Saturday going out to buy NS stuffs with his friends.. Which means this weekend he got very little time for me le.. =(****
5th day without you~! (6 more days to seeing you~!)
Raining so heavily in the late afternoon.. I thought my cousin's BBQ at east coast would be cancelled due to the rain, but luckily, the rain stopped at 6 plus.. When i reached there, i saw lots of unfamiliar faces.. There's only 4-5 familiar faces i saw.. So, i stayed close to my cousin thru out the BBQ.. Felt so akward around so many unfamiliar people.. But my cousin's frens were rather friendly de.. =) There were so many stray cats at the pit there.. I found one brown kitten simply adorable and cute.. keke.. It's legs short short de (just like me).. keke.. It looks queer but very cute.. I kept feeding the kitten with crabsticks (now then i know cats got eat crabsticks de) keke.. The brown kitten's really very cute... (just like me) keke.. *winks*
I think it's due to the rain that afternoon, so it was really freaking cold at East Coast.. Brrr... How i wished Wenzhong was there with me, then he could hug me and keep me warm.. Miss him alot.. Without him cannot be cosy cosy le.. *sobs*
Anyway, Wenzhong called me today instead of his one sms/day routine.. keke.. Felt so happy! Finally heard his voice today.. Yippee~! He said his hp only left two bar of batt le.. So, we only chatted for about 5 min.. (so short, but better then nothing) keke.. Anyway, really very happy to be able to hear his voice and hear him saying "love you" to me again~!
Dear, i'm missing you like crazy.. I miss your kisses, miss being in your embrace, miss your everything~! Looking forward to Friday(22.04.2005), then i'll be able to see you again le~! Hope you'd spent more time with me during the weekends.. =) Love you, dear~! *muacks*
4th day alone~! (Still Missing You Badly)
Woke up at 9 plus today.. (Last night purposely ask my classmates to play basketball today in the morning, cause i dun wanna be alone at home) So, i washed up and went to school at 10 plus.. Only WeiKit had reached, so we went to the court to shoot first while waiting for the others to come.. Saw Wenzhong's friend, Weiliang, there also.. (so coincident) After half an hour or so, Aaron and WeeKiat arrived, so we've got 4 players now.. And they jio Weiliang and his fren for a 3-on-3 match.. Quite fun.. keke.. Feel so refreshed after exercising...~!
After that, went for my Studio Project.. I drew all the backgroud on each and every page.. After shooting, i found out my backgroud has slight jerking.. Actually wanted to ignore the jerkings de.. But, i wanna do my best for this Studio Project, so i decided to trace out all the rick sacks again..~! (150+ drawings lehz.. super tedious.. 'n') After lesson ended, i went bishan with JiaWan, Lynette, Yanling, Ain and Nana.. Cause i dun wanna go back so early.. (all alone at home will miss him even more badly de)
Reached home at about 8 plus.. Legs and arms abit aching.. Physically tired.. But mentally still awake.. Thinking of him~! Misses him so much~! Wondering what he's doing inside~! Hope he's thinking of me too~!
[L]o[v][e] y[o]u, [D]e[a][r]~[!]
First, i wanna give my gradtitudes to Lynette, Desmond and Hanzhong for cheering me up on msn yesterday night.. Thanks for all your cold jokes that made me laugh.. :) *smiles* "Sunshine Cheerful Team" right? kekeke.. Raining so heavily now.. Actually, i've already planned what i wanna do to keep myself occupied for tonight de.. I planned to go for a run, then have some workouts, and then talk a stroll by the big drain where me and him had so many sweet memories.. But, it's raining now, i guess i can only stay at home whole night le.."My Second Day Without Wenzhong By My Side"
Time seems to pass so slowly when he's not by my side.. Today is just his second day in Police Academy.. But it seems so long already.. Miss him alot.. Woke up late at 7.30am when i'm supposed to wake up at 7.00am.. So i ended up 30 minutes late for my Studio Project.. Dreamt about him last night, dreamt about us playing swing at bishan park.. Den we lied on the soft fields and look at the stars.. He was hugging me next to him so gently.. Then, ''poof''.. i woke up.. How i wished i'd never woken up from that dream.. **sighs**
Lesson ended at 11am and i went back home.. And i know when i step into the house, i'll no
longer heard his cheerful laughters and loud playful voice from inside.. Cause he's not gonna be home (for 2 weeks).. My heart felt kinda empty.. Like somethings is missing.. At 2 plus, his parents went out for work.. And they wouldn't be back until near midnight.. So, i guess i'll be all alone today..
Sms him quite a few times today, though i know he wouldn't be able to reply till 7pm plus.. Looking forward to his reply later.. Last night he only sent me one sms to tell me he's fine and ask me not to worry.. Then he off his hp le.. Cause he gotta save the batt to last 2 weeks (stupid PA; allow enlistees to bring hp but dun allow them to bring charger.. No logic..!) Hope he's doing well inside..
Today woke up at 6plus.. Wenzhong's going in NS today le.. Did some preparations and after washing up, we(wz, me, his mom and dad) went out and took a cab to the Police Academy at Thomsom Road.. We reach the Police Academy at around 8am..
When we reached there, Wenzhong was instructed to go for some briefings, and his mom, dad and me was lead to an open area to be seated.. Then there's talks about how his training in the Police Academy will be.. A tour to their barracks(the place where they'll sleep) and to the canteen.. Kinda worried for him, cause he rather picky when it comes to food(he doesn't eat most veggies and he dislike pasta and cheese) Then, there were some performances, they showed us the drills and then some band members of the Police Academy performed for us.. (quite boring) then came the oath taking session.. After that, wenzhong joined us for the reception.. but i didn't eat anything.. (no appetite) 30 mins later, an announcement was made for the enlistees to report to the auditorium.. T.T
I was kinda hoping that Wenzhong could hug me one last time before he goes in.. but he didnt.. He gave me a peck on th cheeks and then went off after saying goodbye.. At first i didn't feel anything de.. But, when he gave me the kiss and said goodbye.. I felt an urge to cry.. But of course i held back my tears.. i wouldn't want to make his parents worried about me.. Seeing him walking up the stairs and disappearing at a corner, i felt really bu she de.. *sobs* But, no choice, it's compulsory to serve the NS de..
Then i took a cab to school, cause i still got Studio Project.. I tried to focus on my animation and keep my mind occupied.. I was listening to my mp3 while drawing.. Everything was fine until i heard the song "tong hua".. When i heard that song i thought of him, and how he'd always sing the song.. And when i thought of the fact that i could not see him for 2 weeks.. Tears just start flowing out.. Luckily, my friends were there to console me and cheer me up.. (thanks Karen, Lynette and Ee Jia)
After lessons ended at 2, i took my own sweet time to go back home.. Walked very slowly, cause i know when i reach his house, i'll keep thinking of the times we had together and i'll feel even more miserable.. But in the end, i'll still reach home de.. When i reached home, i kept thinking of him.. Miss him so badly.. Then i went to tidy up his room.. Tidied everything from his clothes to his books to the table and so on... kept finding stuffs to keep myself occupied.. The good news is that now, his room super tidy le.. But, the bad news is after tidying his room, i dunno what else to do to occupy myself le.. *sighs* I gues i've no choice but to bear with it.. Looking forward to the day when he'll be back..
I Miss You So Much, Dear~! But Even Though We're Apart, We'll always Be Together In Our Hearts~!
P/s: In his friendster profile he wrote:"To Dear: I will be missing you.. When I Am Out.. Let's Get ENGAGED!!!!".. felt really touched.. hope we'll really be able to get engaged when you're out..!
Waiting for him at home.. This morning he went out very early at 8.30am to Jurong East Complex with his friends.. I came back at 4(lesson supposed to end at 5 de).. I went off early hoping to spent more time with him before he goes in NS tomorrow.. But disapointed to see that he wasn't home yet.. *pouts* Then i went out to buy some food.. Met his mom on my way back, so i accompanied her to buy the daily neccesities that Wenzhong will need in NS.. When we came back.. He still isn't back yet..
Hmm.. Miss him alot alot.. Wondering what he's doing now..? Still at the swimming complex.? But cannot be ma, they can't possbly stay there from 8plus till 6.. 10 hours lehs.. Maybe he's out eating or chatting with his frens ba.. Hope hell come back soon.. Really miss him alot now.. He'll be going in NS tomorrow le.. I think life without him by my side will be very tough.. Think i'll miss him tons.. Somemore 2 weeks of confinement.. Can't see him for 2 weeks.. Somemore he dun have sim card.. (cause he tore up his sim card le) Cant even contact him for this 2 weeks.. I guess even if now go replace the sim card oso too late le.. The sim card wouldn't be sent here so soon de.. *sighs* Hope he'll take initiative and call back from the public phone or what.. Really bu she de him... Hope he comes home soon.. Really hope to spent tonight with him before he goes in NS..
Tomorrow, i'll be going to his enlistment ceremony.. I think i'll sure cry like mad de... T.T
Had a very familiar dream today.. It seems like i've had this dream before.. But i'm not sure..
I dreamt that me and Wenzhong is a very sweet couple.. In my dreams, he's always hugging and kissing me and holding on to my hands.. Then there was this gal who'll always try to ruin my life.. She'd cause me to lose my job and gotten misunderstood by alot of people by using under-hands methods.. I was very depressed, but wenzhong was always there to comfort me and love me.. Then, she started to try to take Wenzhong away from me by trying to seduce him.. But Wenzhong still stayed by my side.. Eventually, her evil plots were found out and everyone hated her.. In anguish, she ran away.. But Wenzhong chased after her, in fear she would do foolish things.. I also chased after her.. I kept asking him not to go after her.. But, my pleas were ignore.. FInally he caught up to her at her house and started comforting her and cheering her up.. When i saw them together laughing so happily, i felt my heart hurting.. Then i turned around and ran away.. Wenzhong saw it and chased after me.. He caught up to me and explain everything to me.. At this moment, i told him that i am pregnant.. He smiled and touched my stomach gently and smiled.. Then, we walk out of the building together, with him hugging me tight and close to him.. It felt so sweet.. Then a car at full speed was coming towards us.. I quickly pushed Wenzhong away.. The last thing i saw was the bright, glaring headlights..
Did i die with my unborn baby in my dreams? I guess i did.. I dunno what happened after the car accident 'cause i've woken up.. A really familiar dream.. I think i had the sam dream before.. But i'm not sure.. But everything seems so familiar.. I decided to write this down 'cause i dun wanna forget this dream.. Cause in my dreams, Wenzhong was so sweet and loving.. *smiles* But, don't wanna die so early.. Cause i wanna have a future with him.. I still wanna have babies belong to me and him.. Wanna be together with him until we're both have wrinkles and white hair.. Wanna watch sunset hand in hand, side by side, smiling sweetly with him when we're old..
But, is this dream trying to tell me something? Does it mean anything? *scratching my head*
6 more days till he goes in NS.. *sad*
So tired.. At night stayed up till 2 plus cause i was watching dvd.. Then woke up by my handphone's alarm at 6.30am.. Only slept for 4plus hours.. *yawns* Today is the 4th day of my Studio Project.. So far i've only done one-third of my jumping rice sack animation.. Still got pakaging, poster design, animated title page and CD cover haven't do.. Hope can complete on time by 22th April..
After my Studio Project ended at 10.30am (supposed to end at 11am, but i left early with Karen), i went back home.. The weather's super hot today.. When i reached home, wenzhong told me to prepare cause we'll be going out to watch "The Pacifier".. Yups.. Once again, i went out despite the sorching heat.. *sweats* We went to GV at NorthPoint and caught the 12.20pm show.. Keke.. We smuggled Long John Silver's food into the theatre.. *yummy* Loves the feel of the air-conditioner on my skin.. Especially in such hot weather.. The show was quite good.. Rather humorous.. He held my hands a few times.. But always let go after a while.. =( But never mind, i still held on to his hands myself.. keke..
Now the weather is still very hot.. *looks out of the windows* Hope it will rain later.. keke.. Then he'll stay at home and accompany me le... *winks*
Today was kinda a fun day.. Completed my successful jump for my studio prject..But still got lots of other things haven done yet.. e.g. the settings, etc.. After my studio project ended at 5, i went back.. As it was raining i decided to take a cab back(i lazy).. keke.. Kinda glad it was raining, cause that would means that wenzhong will be at home.. *smiles* At 7pm, me, wenzhong, his mom and his brother went over to his granfather house for dinner.. A very homely feeling.. Cause it's been a long long time since i've eaten home-cooked food..
He seems to be in a fine mood today.. not much temper.. keke.. and today he never did anything to make me angry or sad.. so today was rather fun.. we joke around and had lotsa fun.. *smiles* At night, i kissed him goodnight and said "i love you" and he said "i love you too".. how i wish everyday would be like this..
P/S::After my nagging and complaining and threatening that there'll be no massages for him, he changed his friendster's status to 'in a relationship' le.. kEke.. *smiles*.
Awaken at 11 plus this morning.. Finally got enough sleep le.. keke.. Had a really weird dream about heaps and heaps of cup noodles collapsing on me.. Haha.. weird right..?
Today started out quite fine.. He woke me up in the morning to play Ragnarok Online.. Though i still rather sleepy but i still climbed out of the bed.. Cause i know he's feeling bored so accompany him play lor.. haha.. Even if i wanna sleep also no use.. he'll continue disturbing me and try all means to wake me up de.. (he's kinda cute when he tries to wake me up.. will give me those "ke lian" look..) haha.. Den we kept fooling around.. throwing soft toys and pillows all over the place.. and beating and tickling each other playfully.. It was fun.. haha.. Of course i lost the fight la.. he's so much stronger then me.. somemore i'm super ticklish de.. He always ask me to help him to massage and threatens to tickle me if i refused.. He's so mean right.. keke..
Then at 4 plus i went back sleep again.. Cause he playing his xbox games.. and i felt bored watching him play.. At 5 plus he told me he going out to play basketball.. i said 'ok' and went back to sleep again.. Den woke up 10 min later after he went out.. den dunno why can't sleep le.. lol.. He said he'll be back at 7pm to watch Ru Lai Sheng Zhang.. So i decided to go out buy food for him at 6.30pm.. So when he comes back got food to eat le.. The coffee shop near his house is closed for renovation.. so i took the trouble to walk to the further one to buy food.. Quite a stressful experience.. The guy at the food stall kept asking me weird things and saying weird things.. kept asking for my name and where i live.. Den ask me whether i need him to walk me home or not.. Den ask for my hp number.. Of course i never answered any of the questions la.. I think i'll never ever go to that coffeeshop again le.. So scary... =(
Today started off quite well.. but ended not that well.. After i bought the food back.. it was already 7pm le lor.. But he still haven came back... i waited and waited... finally at 7.40pm he came back.. i was rather angry de.. but i decided not to pursue this matter.. Den i told him i bought food back for him le.. But he say he no appetite.. dun wanna eat.. Sighs.. Kinda disappointed cause i took the trouble to go buy the food but he says he's no appetite... Sighs..
Den at 11 plus he say he going out with his friends for supper and he went out even when he knew i was not happy.. He haven't even eaten the food i've bought back lor.. I think can throw away the food le.. Sighs.. .. He went out despite the fact that he promised me he'll not go out until he goes in NS to make up for the hurt he'd caused meAt this point of time i really felt very sad.. i've already gave in to him by allowing him to go play basketball.. He also said that he'll only go play basketball.. But end up.. he's is asking for more and more.. i guess my allowances has caused him to crave for even more.. I guess i'm too soft-hearted le.. Maybe i shouldn't have given in to your bargains.. You said you will make up to me by staying home and accompanying me until you go in NS de.. Maybe when you first asked me whether if you could go play basketball, i should've said "no" straightaway.. Sighs.. I love you too much.. that's why i'm always soft-hearted to you... That's why i always give in to all the things you want.. That's why you started to take my allowances to you for granted..
I really hope that you can really learn to keep your promises.. i'm very tired of hearing promises that'll be broken..
Hmmm.. This semester finally came to an end le.. *relieved* But for the following 2 and a half weeks still got Studio Project 2.. Feeling stressed.. Anyway, after 2 and a half weeks i'll be having my one month holiday.. Think this year's holidays will be a very lonely one... Cause he'll in NS.. Will not be able to accompany me.. T.T
Later if never rain, i think wenzhong will be going out to play basketball.. hurmph.. I really wished that he'll stay home for 2 more days.. and stay by my side.. cause next 2 and a half weeks i'll be very busy with my Studio Project.. but he dun wan.. Somemore in less then 2 weeks time he going into NS le.. Hope he'd accompany me go out and do things together for 2 more days de.. But.. sighs.. Another reason i want him to go play basketball is because i'm scared.. I'm scared he'd meet 'her' again.. Hope he would keep his promise to break all his connections with her ba..
Now i'm praying hard for rain.. Cause if rain he can go play basketball le.. keke... Please rain... Please rain...~!
But yesterday already rainned so heavily le.. dunno today will still rain or not.. =(
Yesterday, he accompanied me to Sunshine Plaza to print my assignment stuffs... Somewhere in Dhouby Ghaut.. Raining super heavily.. And what's worse is that we dunno the way there... We sorta see the map at the MRT station and then tried to figure the way there... haha.. At first we were lost lor... but, in the end still manage to reach Sunshine Plaza with the help of his "men's instict" (i'm always in awed about how he always manages to find his way) But by the time we reached there we were already drenched from head to toe le.. Damn freaking cold lor.. Brrr... Den i went print my things and bought my art stuffs.. He also bought the game he'd wanted to buy-Street Basketball Volume.3.. Though being drenched, i still think that day was a really fun day... haha...
Actually i feel there's something missing between me and him now... i still misses the way we were in the past.. where i'm always his first priority.. In the past, he'll never leave me alone and go play basketball de.. He'll always be by my side.. He'll always hold on to my hands tightly and shower care and concern on me.. But now, things are kinda different le.. he no longer hold my hands anymore le.. and i'm no longer his first priority le.. Maybe our honeymoon period is over le.. but sometimes i cant help but wonder.. Maybe you dun love me as much as before le.. or maybe you dun love me le.. how i wished we could go back to those times we had in the past.. I really wish you would hold on to my hands tightly and never let go again.. i wish you would stay by my side whenever i needed you.. i wish you would whisper sweet nothings to me again.. i wish you would say the 3 words to me again even when i didnt ask you.. Sighs.. T.T
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