Yawn.. So tired.. Think these few days no need to sleep le wor... This is the last week of this semester le.. Lagging behind in 3 assignments... Think gotta burn midnight oil till Friday le.. Hopefully after this week can have a good rest before my studio project for this semester start... Gotta do animation on a jumping rice sack for Studio Project 2 wor.. Still haven tot of the storyline i wanted.. Still cracking my brains to think of the story.. But before that, gotta do my poster for Digital Imaging and bus advertisement for Design Fundamental wor.. Still got storyboard also haven finished... *headache*
Think i got a high possilbility of having to repeat some modules again.. esp. Digital Imaging and Creative Process.. sighs.. But hopefully can make it thru his semester.. [or else i think wz gonna kill me] *headache getting worse*
These 2 days nothing much really happened.. He did kept his promise and didnt contact 'her' (cause he'd already tore up his SIM card) He also kept his promise to stay at home until he enter NS.. But can see that he's rather unwilling to stay at home.. He seems rather restless.. He asked me whether he could go out play basketball.. i said "up to him".. But he still afraid that i might get angry.. so he never went.. I think this time he really knows that this is his very very last chance to prove that he can be trusted again.. (but this is onli the first 2 days, hope he'll not break his promises in the days to come) Also, hope that he's not contacting 'her' thru any other forms of msging behind my back ba.. cause these few days really busy.. And i still gotta go to school.. So, i dunno what he's doing when i'm not around.. Cant possibly keep an eye on him 24/7.. (still feel abit insecure)
It's really hard to trust someone who had broken your trust so many times again.. But, i'm trying my very best to trust him again... Hopefully he would also treasure this chance to gain back my trust...~~!
P/s: Yawns.. so tired.. but no choice... gotta go back to do my work le... =( then tml still got class early in the morning wor... *head is going to burst le*
After watching "Xin Ru Lai Shen Zhang".. he told me he's going out to Sun Plaza to meet Ziwei at mos burger.. i was feeling bored after he went out so i decided to go for a run.. after running for 5 mins, my appendix hurts.. so i slowed down to a jog.. never did i expect to see a familiar backview in front of me.. never did i expect to see him in front of me.. but my heart hurts.. cuz there's "her" walking next to him, holding on tightly to his arms.. my minds in a blur.. despite my hurting appendix.. i sprinted pass him and "her" and all the way back to his house.. (i was very disappointed that he never chased after me) i was crying so badly.. his hp was spoilt so i asked his brother to help me call "her" cuz i need to talk to him.. he told me not to think so much.. how can there be nothing when i saw it with i own eyes..? i hang up the phone..
I was so angry that i tore up all my artwork.. tore up all the efforts.. i wanted to pack up and leave.. but i wasn't in the mood for packing so i went straight out.. i loitered around.. crying.. walking aimlessly.. i really felt as if it was the end of the world.. then my phone started ringing.. wz, his parents and his brother started calling me again and again.. but i did not answer any of them... then he started smsing me...
wz:: please.. i'm going into NS soon le.. please let me show you.. please let me show you.. please..
wz:: please.. listen to me.. i really tired le. please answer my calls..
wf:: show me wat? show me how sweet you and her are together? show me how stupid i am to believe you again and again while you hurt me again and again?
wz:: hai.. whatever ba.. if you now staying at your fren there then stay ba..
wf:: i tonight sleep on the streets.. you happy?
wz:: this time let me show you.. i will break every connection with her.. believe me..
wf:: you said this to me so many time le.. how you want me to do? msg her and tell her not to contact you anymore? then confirm you two will never contact again?
wz:: i smash away my sim card.. stay at home everyday.. until i go NS.. not a step out.. please come back.. i'll show you..
wf:: but what's the use if your heart is not with me? you dare to say you dun like her?
wz:: please.. i already know i and her is impossible de.. just now what you see is we going to SP.. my leg pain.. she just help me nia.. i swear.. if i dun love you.. i will not let you stay.. n now so worried.. please.. come back home..
wf:: how do i know what you said is tru? tot you say go meet ziwei? why end up with her? why lie to me? you dare to let me sms her and tell her not to contact you?
wz:: do what you want.. come home please..
In the end i realli msg the gurl telling her i felt very insecure and asked her not to contact him anymore.. she never replied.. i dunno whether she got the msg.. then his dad found me.. and drove me back home.. whn i reached home he gave me a kiss.. and say he'll keep his words this time de... and he did tore up his sim card.. though i dun wan him to do so de.. i guess i'll trust him this last time le.. hope he'll not disappoint me again..
Have you heard of the legend of Dolphin Bay?
Once upon a time, the son of God fell in love with a mortal girl and defy the regulations of the heaven.. As a result, they were both discrminated by heaven and earth.. they wander all over, but still couldn't find a place where they can fit in.. onli the fairy who lives in the deepest part of the forest sympatise their plight.. the fairy gave a pair of magical rings to the couple.. and the rings protected them.. allowing them to travel across seas.. unfortunately, the god of jealousy found out about the pair of rings.. the god of jealousy took away the pair of rings and threw the rings into the vast ocean.. losing the protection of the rings, the couple were seperated by the raging sea.. even though they were seperated.. they continued seeking for one another and never gave up.. soon.. dawn was breaking and they were about to die.. at this moment, a kind dolphin was touched by their true love.. and it found and return the rings to the couples.. once again, the couple are protected by the blessings of the fairy.. and were able to live happily ever after... when the first ray of sunlight touched the earth, a warm glow of pink filled the whole beach.. and there after, the dolphin became the guardian of love..
It is believed that if you wished sincerely in front of the Dolphin Bay, you will have the love that you want.. and at the Dolphin Bay, the first person you confesses your love to will be your destined one.. and the rings of the Dolphin Bay will bless all couples forever and ever..
Super slack these few days.. staying at home.. doing nothing.. sighs.. guess tonight must must burn midnight oil do my Creative Process's 3D models le.. sianz.. (prefer to slack somemore)
These few day quite sweet de... but dunno how long these days will lasts... keke.. the fear is still there.. it's very hard to trust someone again after getting hurt.. especially after getting hurt by the one you used to trust 100%.. the fear is slowly fading away.. but i guess i need more time for these fears to vanish completely.. really scared he'll leave me once again.. T.T
12th April coming soon le.. less then a month left.. sighs.. he's going in NS le.. i really dunno how to bear the days without him by my side.. T.T cant see him; can hear his voice; cant feel him; cant hug him; cant kiss him... cant do so many things without him.. sighs.. hope that day will not come so soon.. really dunno how to be alone for 7 months... without seeing him... sighs... Right now, hope can spend more time with him.. also hope he can spend more time with me..~!
Finally finished the construction of my blog's new templete le.. phew.. (thAnks tO michEllE)
In the story "love-bond" pik-fun has left kong.. sighs.. she knew that the only reason kong had chosen her over kaixin is because of the baby.. she knows that kong wouldn't be happy staying with her, that's why she chose to lie to kong that the baby is not his and left him.. i think in the final episode, kong would be with kaixin.. kinda expected this ending..
Really admire pik-fun.. i think she's great.. she rather bring up the child alone.. and let kong be with kaixin.. chatted with mischelle yesterday.. she ask:"you will also do the same thing right?" i answered yes without hesitation.. i think if one day if wenzhong really tells me straight that he don't love me anymore.. i think i will choose to leave.. but, i still hope to have his child before i leave.. (hehe) what a weird request right? (haha) other may think it's a burden to bring up a child alone.. but i think it's a blessing to have the child of the one i love.. even if i have to bring up the child alone... (i will be a fantastic mom de) will shower the child with all my love.. =)
When there's no turning back, i think the last act you can do to show your love for you love ones is to give him freedom.. let time heal your wounds (hopefully the wounds will heal) and hold on to your memories with him.. memories will be your best companion when you miss him.. i rather hurt alone then to see the one i love hurting with me..
hmm.. a rather slack week... only got school for 2 days this week... lesson were either cancelled.. or teacher was sick... stayed at home most of the time.. partly cuz lazy go out... oso cuz the one i hope to go out with dun like going out... sighs.. what to do...
anyway, caught the last second episode of "you're the one" yesterday.. a really nice show depicting the love life of the pple now..
*meide-a typical career woman who is confident and put her career first..
*meiman- a confident young gurl who's a dreamer.. a perfectionist.. wants everything in her life to be perfect..
* meili- though not pretty, she got a heart of gold.. wants to get married.. but, cant find her mr. right..
but, in the end.. they all found there mr. right.. (not like reality) there may not happy ending even if you met the one you love...
love is a weird thing.. even if you found the one you love, he may not love you back.. but i think still think being able to meet the one you love is a very fortunate thing.. =) even if he doesn't love you in return, at least you've found the one you love... i've found mine... what about you? though our future is still in a blur.. i dunno whether we'll have a happily ever after ending.. but i'm still glad i've found him...!
watching a Hong Kong drama now... a realli meaningful show that i can relate to very much...
"in this show, the male actor (kong) and the female lead (kaixin) meet each other and was very deeply in love with one another.. then, the ex(pik-fun) of kong came back from aboard... pik-fun came back in hope to start over again with kong.. though kong and pik-fun had a sixteen years relationship with kong.. he was very sure that the one he loves now is kaixin.. one day, he finally decides to propose to kaixin... he asked pik-fun along to witness his proposal.. hoping that she'll give up.. kong proposed to kaixin and she agrees.. but.. at this time, pik-fun arrived with a baby in her arms... in fact, the baby belong to kong... she found out she was pregnant after breaking up with kong... kong was in a dilemma.. but he chooses pik-fun because of responsibility and the baby though he still have feelings for kaixin... the story continues....."
what will be the ending of the story.. i guess i'll keep updating the story...
after following this HK drama... i've alot of thoughts... i think it's right for kong to choose pik-fun.. cause no matter wat.. a guy gotta face the responsibilities to what he've done.. moreover.. a newborn life is involve... he should be responsible for what he's done... however.. i cant help but think... will kong realli be happy with pik-fun? will he be happy after leaving the one he really loves? even if he still have some feeling for pik-fun... will he realli be happy..?
alot of times, i've always wonder.. do he have feelings for me? though everytime i asked him whether he love me or not... he'll answer yes... but, is it realli true? or izzit just for responsibilities? if he love me, why would he make the same mistake again and again...? i realli dunno...~! would he really be happy with me..? i know i'll do my very best to make him happy... but will he realli be truely happy?
hMmm... i Haven bEen blOggiNg foR a vEry loNg lonG Time le... guEss too mAny thIngs haPpened... tOo manY to be wrItten down... thInk if i"m goinG to tyPe waT happenEd.. i goNna need oNe weeK... hahaha...
hmMm.. mY bday over le wor.. sighs... dunno to be happy or sad to be 19... my last teenage year le... anYway, had a really fabulous and sweet bday celebration with him... we went zoo... then went to watch ROBOTS... he held my hands, kissed me and hugged me... everythings seems so perfect... seems like we were back to the times we used to have in the past... so sweet... so innocents... no worries... but, i guess there can onli be one 10.03 per year.. when the clock strucks 12... everything gotta be back to normal again... but... i'm contented le... realli have a great bday this year...~~!
for your information... me and him patched le... during december.. but alot of things hapened in between... oso dun wanna tok abt it le... to many disappointing stuffs.... this is our last chance le... he promised me not to sms her anymore unless there's something important... hope he'll keep his promise this time round... hope he'll treasure this chance... and not disappoint me again...
anYway, i guess thAt's all fOr today... =)
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