* The Fairytale of Pandagirl *

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Dear Diary,

Sometimes, some questions would appear in my mind out of the sudden...
"Perhaps i shouldn't place so much hopes on things pple says, cause with higher hopes there'll be greater disappointments."
"Maybe i should commit myself to much into sth, cause the pain will be greater when you get hurt."
"Probably, it isn't wise to love too deeply, cause loving someone too deeply means giving that someone the chance to hurt you."

Last night was a sleepless night for me.. Kept tossing and turning in bed.. Perhaps too much of the korean drama has made me think too much.. Last night, so many memories from the past came to my mind.. From the first moment i met him till now.. It's has already been 4 years.. i could still remember how hot my face felt when he first held my hands, how heart my heart is beating when he leaned forward for our first kiss.. keke.. Those were those sweet innocent times we had.. So many types of memories since our lives crossed paths.. Sweet, bitter, sour, blissful, happy, painful, protected, passionate, resentful, insecurities, peaceful, etc..

I never knew there could be so many type of feelings until i met him.. Of course i dun blame him for those painful times, cause no relationship is perfect.. Likewise, no one is perfect.. In a relationship, the sweet and blissful moments of it is what that make the pains worth going through.. No matter how he scolded or threw his temper, when he becomes sweet, the hurt would be forgotten..

Sometimes i wished i'd love him lesser, cause in this way, perhaps when he scolds me or tells me he hate me, my heart would hurt lesser.. But, i realised this wouldn't work.. Cause affections cant be controlled, when he says he hate me or scolds me, my heart will still bleed and hurt badly.. Cause no matter what i tell myself, i cant change the way i feel for him, i cant control my emotions, and i still love him alot.. More then anyone could ever imagine...

Cause loving you is like breathing, how can i stop?

*This fairy tale ended at 2:37 AM*