* The Fairytale of Pandagirl *

Sunday, April 02, 2006

"force a smile ; blink away the tears
supposed to be strong
supposed to have no fears
but i`m finding it hard not to frown
if i'm such a strong person
why am i breaking down?"

"the best part abOut dancing in the rain is
that nO One can see the tears i've cried"

"I'm mad at myself fOr crying
i dOnt even remember the reasOn
but the tears keep flOwing
and they just wOnt stOp
i'm suppOsed tO be strOng
but everything's sO wrOng"

Things are just going so wrong in my life.. Everything is so wrong.. I hate my life now.. So many things had changed.. He had changed.. I've changed too.. I'm tired.. Tired of all these changes.. How good it'd be if things were the way they were 4 years ago.. I miss being pampered.. I miss being the priority in your life.. I miss those sweet seconday school days.. Now, everything is so different..

I'm tired.. Seem to be crying everyday recently.. I think i'm going to break down soon.. Really tired.. I know he'd never read me blog.. But just wanna tell him..

"My feeling for you had never changed.. I still love you as much as i did 4 years ago.. How about you? I really dunno.. Too many things had happened.. And there're some things that i cant forget no matter how hard i tried to.. And to be frank, i still feel insecure sometimes.. I hope you'd understand.. Cause that scar is still there.. I'm trying my best to forget.. But.. are you trying your best to help me forget? Sighs.. I really hope we can spend quality time together.. Not just quantity time.. Dont you realise that even though we're at home together.. You are always doing your own things.. In the past, we'd go out for late night strolls and chit chat.. I miss those days.. Sometimes, i need reassurances.. I want you to send me sweet smses & tell me you love me once in a while.."

*This fairy tale ended at 10:53 PM*