* The Fairytale of Pandagirl *

Friday, October 13, 2006

I'm feeling so tired.. *sighs*

Tired of everything.. Somehow i wish time could stop for me.. To recuperate and tidy up the messy feelings inside my heart.. Somehow i wish i could just sleep forever and never wake up.. So i could live in my dreams, a place where there're only happy memories of the past.. I dun wanna wake up.. Cause when i wake up, i'd have to face reality.. Somehow, i wish i could just die and leave this world.. Then i'd not need to go thru all these..

Today, i woke up early.. Wanted to go back to sleep but i just couldn't fall asleep again.. I hate waking up.. Cause nonsense thoughts will come to my mind.. And i just lie in bed, crying and crying..

I hate who i am now.. When did i became like this..? Not willing to face the reality.. Why am i like this now..? I ain't like this in the past.. It seems that now, the times i spent being sad and crying are so much more then the times i'm laughing and having fun.. What had happened to me..? Since when my mind had been filled with so much pessimistic thoughts, so much that i could hardly breathe..

I don't wanna grow up.. I wished i could remain 17 years old forever.. When i was young, i kept wanting to grow up.. Thinking if i could grow up faster, i could fall in love, get married and live happily every after like in all fairy tales.. No one told me growing up involves so much pain, worries, disappointments and heartaches..

我真的真的累了。

*This fairy tale ended at 1:10 AM*