* The Fairytale of Pandagirl *

Friday, December 08, 2006

Countless sleepless nights..

Somehow, in the middle of the night, memories always haunt me.. There are so many things going through my mind.. I seemed to be crying myself to sleep more and more often.. And i'm starting to resort to medication to force myself to sleep.. Only when i'm asleep, i'll feel nothing.. I don't want to wake up to reality.. Think i'm going crazy soon if this continues.. *sighs*

I hate myself.. Hate myself for being so weak.. Hate myself for being so dependant.. Hate myself for having so many rubbish thoughts.. Hate myself for crying.. Hate myself for having to hide my emotions.. Hate myself for not being the me i used to be anymore..

If only i could disappear from this world.. If only some things haven't happened.. If only i could know what's going thru your mind.. If only i could turn back time.. If only i could be the girl i used to be.. If only i could sleep forever and never wake up again.. If only i could just end my life..

I'm really tired.. Each and every of me emotions are all messed up.. And i dunno how to make things right.. So tired.. So so tired........

Fangfang is breaking down soon..

*This fairy tale ended at 8:33 PM*